Pen and Paper

untitled(2) - June 2009

even after days have past
and thousands of brush strokes
I can still vividly remember
the taste of her kisses
sweet and tangy
like the rest of her
Amazing being she is
absolutely beautiful
and doesn't seem to know it.
tender and gentile
with the perfect combination of
strength and roughness.
Outspoken and unafraid to
put every thing out there
with the patience of Jesus himself.
Yes I'm trying
She tells me I'm trouble
The special, good kind I hope
I can only smile
because words fail to come through me
I'm literally blown away
craving to be in this sexy woman's presence
often
I find her strollin' through the halls of my mind
I get a flutter at my core
then release a sigh of peace
the scene mimics that of a silent movie
no sound, but lots to see.
It is then my body remembers what
her kisses felt like
tasted like
what her hands felt like
and how smooth and soft her skin is
this is stuff day dreams are made of
and it's stuff that comforts at night.
I feel blessed to know her
in any capacity
excited to see what happens next

thoughts don't come cheap (June 2009)

If I could take up a collection for every time I was misunderstood,
I could put an end to my financial woes.
I am in want of nothing,
except for maybe
the validation
that I've not quite gone off the deep end.

If I could articulate the ramblings of my mind,
maybe I wouldn't trip half as hard as I've been trippin'
trying to figure out at what point the train derailed.
But one good thing has come of this,
I've got another internal conflict to work through,
allowing me to finally write again,
write of substance and not just list and group words together
hoping and praying inspiration would bestow itself upon me
to create something
anything
that I would want to read and share
while on this journey to figuring it all out.

Life is one grand adventure
and though it might not seem like it,
I'm enjoying it
taking things as they come,
with mind and heart open wide.
What is seen with the eyes
is seldom what lies underneath.
Which is why I'm patient enough and willing to dig a little deeper.

5 word challenge: handfull, plant, check, screech, elbow - contemplations

I smiled so hard my face hurt,
especially my right cheek.
maybe that's because she was seated to my right.
it didn't take much to plant the seed.
okay, water it and watch the wonderful grow.
normally I'm ridged
I can never quite figure out what to do
with my hands.
but I breathed steadily
in and out
making my body relax
despite the loud ringing in my ears.
she came in slow and close
with lips so soft and tender
I could do nothing but go with the flow of the moment,
moments we spent locked like that.
it felt divine to be held
she was and is so strong and gentle,
she made it easy for comfort to set in
she barely touched my elbow,
pulling me with such force I relented to this
overwhelming sweet surrender.
she grabbed a handful of my hair
causing my neurons to screech with delight.
I suppose I was a little over zealous,
I'm told I was a little rough.
I was also told it wasn't a problem.
I think it's a combination of
little experience
and
pent up eagerness.
either way it's all good.
as I sit here to share my joy,
I suck and bite my bottom lip
trying hard not to forget what she tastes like.

untitled(1) - June 2009

If I could find the perfect words to make things better
than how they came out the last time I began to talk,
I'm sure, maybe things would seem a little better
than they felt when I constructed the sentences
which twisted and dimmed the light that shown down upon me.
Then again,
I am so wonderful at making a mountain
out of a mole hill
and causing chaos
when there is none.
Crazy,
is probably what you're thinking
or
better not to get further involved.
I don't blame you,
I'm not your typical anything
and don't think the way most would.
I can be the best of encounters
and the worst of nightmares.
Maybe it's best not to get involved
and then maybe,
just maybe we can pretend
none of this ever happened
and no one's time was ever wasted.
And one day the memory will be so faint
you won't even remember my name
or what I might have looked like.

Sure

I'm sure I would smile if I had a good reason
could that reason be you?
running tracks through my brain
like a train on a path that's never ending.
I wake up
to the thought of you
I rest my head
to the thought of you
and I wonder
how can I satisfy an unknown need
you recognized in me?
I'm sure I would smile if I knew how
could, or better yet, would you teach me?
my eyes observing your
graceful as you are
absorbing each movement
as if studying for a final
that hold my life in its palms
longing to figured exactly how to mimic
those moves so inspiring.
I'm sure I'd smile too
if I were as inspirational as you

5 word challenge: corn, blue, green, eggplant, red

This is how it works: you get 5 words and with these 5 words you have to write an entry. The words might or might not be related. You decide how to combine them, and how long your entry will be. You tag your entry with 5wordchallenge and whatever other tags you like. Finally, you put the words in bold.

This week's challenge: corn, blue, green, eggplant, red

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the spring
I used to sit in the fields
wondering what would become of
the corn that would grow.

Under the clear blue skies
I'd watch as clouds road by
trying with every bit of my imagination
to see the various shapes they would make

Times were simpler then.
deep green grass stains on jeans.
vibrant red orange sunsets.
and home cooked eggplant parmigiana.

5 word challenge: asphyxiation, sliver, smear, chalk, transcendent

 What is this love
I find transcendent?
For no matter where I go
or what I do there it is,
gripping me at the core of my existence.

There isn't enough grease in the world
that can make the grip slide.
There
right there is where I was
before I died
becoming a meer chalk outline,
of the evil side.

 What is this asphyxiation called love
that won't stop leaning on me.
Maybe it was the ultimatum I gave.
The sliver of skin I shaved
upon telling her
I can't wait,
or rather I just don't want to.
maybe it's this that keeps me sick
rejecting even a smear of decadence
presented before me.

5 word challenge: sex-symbol, blonde, subway grating, misfits, suicide - the opposite of

This day in history, august 5th, 1962, Marilyn Monrou was found dead in her home in Los Angeles.

 I wanna be loved by you
yes
you
nobody else will do
I wanna be loved by you
yes
loved

Thinking on it now,
I was purposefully made to group with the misfits.
With all that this world projects concerning
what is and what isn't beautiful,
it feels as if those of us who
don't naturally possess blonde hair and blue eyes
are hastily being driven to suicide.
Thank goodness, most of us know better
and have safely escaped that current which attemps to drag us under
asphyxiating all our potential and possibilities.
I never viewed myself as a sex-symbol,
but I knew from an early age
how to use what I've got
to get myself closer to where I want to be,
for I refulse to remain on the bottom side of the subway grating,
waiting for lost, loose change to trickle through.

5wordchallenge: sword, fledgling, cardamom, bubble, sway

I hate to burst your bubble, but on this I will not sway
at this stage in the game a fledgling and I can not play.
With or without a sword I've no time for being bored.
And quite hostly sweetheart, you're a terrible lay.
I'm not purposely being harsh
the good times were very sparse
and I just figured things would one day soon change.
Silly me, already knew
before we started it was through
but I tried so hard just to prove
it wasn't true.
Now today here we sit
having coffee over this,
flavored with little bits of cardamom.
Savoring it like I do
looking now over to you,
wishing some how
there was a better way.

5wordchallenge: midnight, sorrow, eyes, stillness, floor - the third charmer

I find the most peaceful time of the day
to be right around midnight.
Silence is at it's loudest,
and it's during this time
when one can review life without great sorrow.
It helps not to be wading through the stillness
alone.
He snuggles closer to me
as we spoon in th middle of the bed.
He's moments from sleep,
but me?
Wide awake I scan the floor
littered are our clothes,
further validating the passionate scene that occurred
shortly before this
moment.
I turn into him nestling my head into his chest,
playing each delightful scene through my mind's eyes
over and over
until finally sleep finds me.