heated word play

Mmm.....Strawberries and Moscato

It's late on this Friday night during the time of a full moon
And I'm leaning in towards my laptop
Enjoying the breeze from my little blue fan
Sippin' on moscato filter by fresh cut up strawberries
With Top Five blaring in the background

Drinking tonight might not have been a good idea
As I think about what I want to do on the morrow

But then, I probably wouldn't be sitting here
In front of this screen
As the words and phrases that bounce off
The walls of my mind
Flow freely from my finger tips

God
I am tipsy
tipping into what?
I know not
But what I do know,
Is this is a long time coming

Then from the film the smooth jazz inspired beats
Of an old school Digable Planets' song invades my ears

"Yeah, I'm thick like that
I stack like that
I'm down like that
I'm black like that"

And I sip on
Dealing myself a second round
Suddenly reflecting on my life
And what has brought me to this point

My life is no where near perfect
But I am absolutely in LOVE with it
And I worry
If I'll fuck all this Good up

And that's when my beloved Friends
Tell me and show me otherwise

One can't fuck up what was meant to be

I can't fuck up what is meant for me

I am not......

I am not
remotely interested in pretending
for you or anyone else,
to be someone I'm not.
I am not
interested, not even a little bit,
in hearing about games
Mind games you accuse me of playing
When you clearly are the MVP
And spare me the lecture
Of how I'm failing and fucking up
When you hold no hope or idea
Of a solution to help
Whilst I crash and burn
I am not sweet
I am not kind
I am not the bitch you were hoping to create
I am not anyone's typical anything
I am not....

Warmth
that is my hope and prayer
for you
That your body may not
shiver and quiver
due to great gusts of subzero winds
but instead
under the soothing heat rapture between
folds of sultry jersey sheets
and thick comforting blankets
I pray
such heat
ignites the passions of your soul
and the negative degrees of winter
like lack of support
never snuffs them out
I hope the warmth
stays with you
ever encouraging
ever inspiring
may that flame
spread to fire
and never burn too hot
to blacken every spot touched
but maybe only just enough
to pop and sizzle
giving warning of the greatness
that is you
which everyone can feel heating up
So here's to you
with boundless appreciation for your hugs
and the vapors of warmth
formed within them

with the spirit of giving thanks

Sat without words
did I
purposely positioning self
so as not to miss anything
so as not to be in the way
Observant was I
capturing each perfect moment
to replay such joy filled bliss
during moments I feel less than
I breathed in deep the love that clung
to every air particle
And savored every morsel
that passed these lips
for I knew all food was prepared
with care
It was like looking at a snow globe,
only I was privileged
to take part in the action
I was reminded of what Home
should feel like
reminded of how it can sound
no one left out
the second nature invitation
automatic inclusion felt surreal
I'm used to fading into the background
But here, such things weren't allowed
I haven't been touched so much
tightly hugged so much
in quite a while
Is it possible for one to forget how to hug?
clearly, I spend way too much time alone
this must change
I'm forgetting how to be social
I'm forgetting important parts of me
I'm forgetting there are some people interested
in what I perceive as my boring story,
yet appreciate that I am a work in progress
Sat without words
I did
purposely positioning self
so as not to miss anything
so as not to be in the way
but to better participate in the growing, beating cypher